I know what you’re thinking, what truth could I possible know about your childhood, it was yours! But there is something you may not have fully acknowledged, and that is, your childhood experiences created the adult you are today. Huh!? How could something that happened YEARS ago possibly still affect me. Explain.
Well, your childhood served as a direct influence to the life you live today. The beliefs taught to you by your family and social surroundings are the very filters you use to see your present world (along with other life experiences of course). The examples our parents set on “how to do life” through their words and actions became the foundation for our core beliefs, even if those examples didn’t serve us. We simply took in the world around us without judgement, seeing as a child’s mind cannot compare truths or right from wrong teachings. So whether love was displayed as encouraging and supportive or critical and harsh, you accepted that example as truth. Whether money was seen as free-flowing or a limited resource, accepted. Being told you were born to fail or succeed, accepted. Believing being White is right or respecting all heritages, accepted. Resolving conflict with peaceful understanding or abusive control, accepted. See, we took on the beliefs, actions, words, habits, and thoughts passed on to us as children without the ability of discernment. The mind believes that what was taught is absolute truth and what was experienced is what can also be expected.
Now, fast forward to today. You are living life as an adult and you are not quite sure why somethings just DON’T work out for you! You may feel, I am not good enough. I will never find love. I’m always broke. I never do anything right. What is wrong with me? Everyone seems happy expect for me. When will I soar? When? Why? HOW? Well, check your thoughts. Check your expectations. Check your examples. Check your beliefs. Were there experiences from your childhood that steered you in a limited direction? Have you allowed your childhood experiences to linger over into your adulthood? Have you gone your whole life agreeing to beliefs that don’t serve you? As we grow in age, we physically adjust but we do not emotionally adjust. We still live out those hindering beliefs presented from our childhood. We run from those memories because they are painful. All the while, running right back into the very things we wish to avoid! That’s because healing doesn’t work that way. It is only until you face those hurts from your childhood, address them, feel them, and heal them that you can be free from the hurt.
The truth about your childhood is that you could not control your experiences. You could not choose who your parents were or how they loved you. You could not choose your environment. And because of this, you may have picked up some damaging beliefs and expectations about yourself, others and life. But you know what the truth is about your adulthood? None of that matters. You are not a victim. You now have the ability to discern your reality. You now have the ability to pick and choose which beliefs serve you and which beliefs to discard. Addressing the experiences of the little you from the root allows space for true healing, freedom, and responsibility. Begin to replace every negative thought with a positive, self-loving message and act as it is so. Remove toxic people. Renew your mind everyday. Make chooses that honor you. Understand your parents and loved ones never met to hurt you and forgive them. Give yourself the love the little you needed. Your life can change for the better and you will see it when you believe it!
Your childhood does not define you. You define you!