I went through a ROUGH breakup without closure. Heard from him one day and the next, nothing. All I knew was he left me for his ex and never returned any of my calls, text, nothing. And I would’ve sent an email had I remembered his email address too (you know how it is, lol). I felt like dang, I know it’s over but can I at least get some closure?? If you’ve been through this too, I know you know what I’m talking about. And maybe its not even an ex, maybe its your mom, dad, friend, whoever. Either way, somebody left you to pick up the pieces, alone and you didn’t receive the closure you felt you deserved. You may be hung up on, “I need closure! I can’t move on until I get closure. I deserve it. They OWE me…”
But did you know you can get closure without hearing from that person ever again? Yup that’s right, you can move on and be at peace with people who refuse to acknowledge you after the damage. Here’s how:
I came to closure by one, reflecting on the relationship for what it really was instead of for what I wanted it to be. Let’s be real, you already KNOW why things needed to end. And in my case, it was because the relationship was toxic. I didn’t need him to come back around tell me what I already KNEW. I knew it needed to be over I just wasn’t ready to let go. The idea of closure is that this person will clear all these unanswered questions and help you move on and you will feel better. But those unanswered questions can be revealed to you by God, by clarity, by epiphany, by time.
Two, I found closure through forgiving him and forgiving myself. I had to forgive myself for staying in a relationship that I knew didn’t honor me. I didn’t trust myself and I beat myself up for not listening to my gut and the many (many) signs the Universe gave me. And I forgave him for the same reason. He too only did the best he knew at that time, even if it hurt me. We met people at different seasons of their journey and people can’t give us what they don’t have. I can forgive because I know the relationship came just to teach me. And the same is for you. Anything that comes and go, let it. It ALL has a purpose.
Three, the past is over and gone. Literally. So focus on moving on. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard. Break-ups and any tough situation comes with stages. Denial, disbelief, anger, sadness, acceptance, hope…etc. Allow yourself to move through the motions but don’t dwell on what could’ve happen if you did this or if they did that. Everything happened just the way it needed to so you could learn. You gotta push past that stage. Keep praying, meditating, doing things that make you feel good about yourself, get back to being you. As soon as I shifted my focus, so many wonderful manifestations took place IMMEDIATELY after the break up, which confirmed that he wasn’t the right man for me and that was all the confirmation I needed.
Accept that situations, relationships, jobs, and people come in to your life just to teach you. Understanding that alone is closure. Let go of this idea that you need somebody to apologize or confront you in order for YOU to grow. If they choose to walk away without resolution, that’s their choice and doesn’t stop your growth, your destiny, YOU.
Love and light on your healing journey,