Restoring the Black family is not a one size fits all. No one solution can be the answer. Our family structure was not destroyed and divided through one method, and cannot be healed through one method. Everyone will offer different perspectives, opinions, and experiences, and each are valuable and a part of the total solution. Some may say we should focus on our education while others may say understanding our true history is the solution. However, it takes energy from all tiers of life: financial education, mental health, physical health and food, education, history, spirit, identity, and other areas to heal.
The perspective I’d like to offer is this: To restore the Black family we have to begin open dialogue about our own family dynamics, habits, and experiences in order to heal them. Reveal to heal. To end generational curses of abandonment, abuse (physical and verbal), guilt, control, shame/shaming, rage, disrespect, lack, rape, betrayal, and so forth. It’s intense to think of the burdens and secrets some people carry in the name of ‘family’. Walking in fear of addressing traumas and challenges because bringing them to the surface feels like going against the family. But tell me, has holding it all in helped? Releasing that burden and acknowledging your truths is step one. And afterwards, maybe you don’t feel led to have this deep conversation with your folks. It may not be time. Or, maybe you will see fit to talk face to face about your experiences.
Restoring the Black family starts with restoring ourselves. Then, not expecting others to change on your schedule but creating boundaries with those who drain and harm you until you feel led to have a different interaction. It’s not cutting them off, disowning them, it holding yourself responsible to protect you. Healing the little you and giving yourself the love you needed. I know it seems unfair to have to “fix” yourself from someone else’s wrong doing. As kids we believe our parents are superhuman until we realize they are just human. And that’s okay! But you do not have to continue destructive family patterns just because it’s all you’ve know. You don’t have to hold pain like a badge anymore. You don’t have to wait for someone to apologize in order to be free. You can become the example the little you needed now.
What perspective do you have to offer that can restore the Black family? Comment below or feel free to email me! 🙂